I feel like running around screaming and pulling my hair out, but no matter how much I want to, it won’t fix the problem. In fact it would just give me more problems. 1) I’d be arrested and 2) I’d be bald. Both are not something I need or want.
On a good note, Christmas time’s a coming! Oh Christmas time’s a coming! Wait… Christmas time is here!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!
But there is no snow. WHY!?
Hubby and I put our Christmas tree up. It is a bit bare at the moment. It does have lights though. And some crochet ornaments made by me. We can’t have any glass or plastic or anything potentially dangerous because two years ago my little puppy ate a star and had to have it surgically removed. >< I ended up making some Victorian crochet style ornaments of heads with top hats and bonnets. I really like how they turned out. I also made two little kid heads with pointed hats, and some big stars. There are only about 8 things on our tree and I have way too much to do, so I don’t think I can make anymore.
I am going to be so busy this coming week. Why do you ask? Well for one thing, our green card interview is on Thursday and I am terrified. What if they ask me a question I don’t know? I mean I know a lot about my hubby, but sometimes when he talks to me all I hear is “blah blah blah blah.” Yeah I am a terrible wife, but I do love my husband a lot. Just sometimes I get lost inside my own thoughts and have no room for his. >< Yep, so this week I will be cramming in as much dates and stuff as possible. “When did you work there? What did you do here? etc etc.” I am so terrible with dates. Jeez I feel like I am back in History class. I just hope they don’t ask me dates. Heck I even get our marriage date confused. Did we get married in June or July? Why do they both have to start with a J!!!!?? LOL Oh wait it was June, that’s right.
I shouldn’t worry about it, but I do. Being raised by a pessimist has made me always worry and expect the worst.
Anyway to add to my stress, my hubby is a bit of a procrastinator. (Shhh! You didn’t hear that from me. ) He waited until yesterday to print out over 300 pictures of us to put into an album for them to see at the embassy. The pictures are not dated and are out of order, plus we don’t even have an album yet. Once we get that, I then need to put them all in order and write dates and descriptions. Yeah I probably don’t need to write descriptions but hey that’s my style and I am always thinking about the future and future granny me wants to be able to have a written reminder. Plus it’s for my babies and grandbabies to read as they look at all our pictures. So yeah over 300 pictures to sort and write about before Thursday.
Also, Christmas is quickly approaching and I don’t have everything done. I need to finish all of hubby’s gifts so he can have the most awesome Christmas EVER! I haven’t bought anything for my family yet, which is giving me stress because I want them to receive their gifts in time for Christmas. And AND, I promised my grandma I would crochet her a purse, but every time I start I end up not liking what I am doing and I keep starting over. It’s for my grandma so I want it to be great.
In between stressing about embassy stuff and Christmas stuff, I have been listening to Christmas music, but every time Elvis comes on I start to cry. Listening to Elvis singing Christmas songs reminds me of my family and how I won’t be with them on Christmas. And I am sorry, but why does most of his Christmas songs sound so sad? Or is it just me? Actually any Elvis song makes me cry. I think I need to see a therapist; I obviously have some emotional trauma about Elvis. Maybe it started when I was younger when being obsessed with Elvis movies watching Tickle Me about a million times, I declared, “I’m going to marry Elvis!”
Imagine my heartbreak when my mother told a 6 year old me that Elvis was dead and had been dead for quite some time. WHY ELVIS WHY?
Or maybe it was because every night before bed, when I was still afraid of the dark, my mom would stack about 8 of her 45s on the record player (Yeah we still had one) and I would listen to them as I fell asleep. There was the “Little Willy” song, Grease’s “You’re the one that I want,” “Boogie with Your Baby in the Back Row of the Movie Show” and Elvis’ “Don’t Cry Daddy.” It is so sad! I think I cried myself to sleep every time it played. Maybe that’s why I cry when I listen to Elvis. Or maybe it is just the lyrics. Especially the love songs. Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic and now that I have found the love of my life, listening to any kind of love song fills me with uncontrollable weep my heart out happiness.
So what with stress about visa stuff, stress about Christmas, and sadness over being away from my family, I am in emotional chaos. Also, being raised by a pessimist has warped my brain into always day dreaming dark stuff. I have just recently began to worry about taking my puppy to America with us, but I am so worried about getting him on the plane and if he will become stressed and I just keep thinking about the bad stuff that could happen, that I can feel my heart being squeezed inside my chest. “GO AWAY PESSIMISTIC THOUGHTS!!! I HATE YOU EVIL THOUGHTS!!!” I just hope it all works out. The puppy is my baby and I could not live without him. That’s just one more thing for me to worry about.
I think this month is going to be too emotional for me. I think it knocked a screw or something loose. Yesterday I cried when watching Mr. Popper’s Penguins. Nuff said.
I think I won’t be able to relax until we are in America, have an apartment and have a means of income and are generally comfortable. That may not be for another two months or more. Just Great! ><
I want to be in America now!
Jeez I want a bologna sandwich. Dang you Korea for not having the greatest deli meat ever! I need me some Oscar Meyer and fast!
whimsicalwitch 