Been taking a break from Halloween, (I know, isn’t that horrible?! How could I?!) But I am getting tired. Guess it is that lovely fall weather, or the fact that I stay up until 2 or 3 or even 4 in the morning, have a restless sleep, then get up early to tutor. Or maybe working and spending all my free time hand sewing, crocheting, and knitting has finally caught up with me. I’m pooped. Actually I am pooped and covered in eczema rashes. EWWW. I appear to be allergic to Korea. When I am in America, my eczema goes away in a few days. In Korea, my eczema spreads like a zombie epidemic. (Yeah, I think I made that reference before- whatever. It’s funny.) So I have been too itchy to do much work. I have been inspired to make my own knitted sweater. Hubby bought me this super soft yarn, because pretty much every yarn seems to irritate the rashes more. It is called Silky Soft Hawaii Fantasia Fancy Yarn (What a name, right?) It really is silky soft. It is a mixture of pink, orange, and purple. There weren’t a lot of options with this yarn. In fact, there aren’t a lot of yarn options with any brand in Korea.
I have about 18 cm of the back done. I still have about 52 cm left to go. Yeah I want long and baggy. I want to be comfy this coming winter.
Now, I have never knitted a sweater before – actually I have never knitted anything except for a scarf or two – so I feel totally out of my element and wonder if the finished product will indeed be a sweater or a big blob of yarn. Just got to keep knitting and find out.
My hubby has been working on a new painting. It is a head coming out of black water.
Hubby: What do you think?
Me: It’s good.
Hubby: And?
Me: Umm… It looks like Bruce Willis.
Hubby: What? Oh yeah it does.
I am not kidding, my hubby unintentionally painted Bruce Willis. I now cannot look at the painting without seeing Bruce Willis. What’s worse is that at night time or whenever I glance at the painting, I keep thinking “Bruce Willis is watching me.” And I gotta tell you, it kind of freaks me out. And he has those eyes that seem to follow you everywhere. While lying in bed, Bruce Willis is watching. When I walk toward the kitchen, Bruce Willis is watching. To the bathroom, Bruce Willis is watching. He is always watching.
I thought it was bad when hubby had painted his grandfather (who passed away years ago) to give to his grandmother as a Chuseok present (Chuseok = Korean Thanksgiving + Remembering the dead). When not working on the painting, he would keep it in the hallway to dry, and it always seemed like his grandfather was watching me and frowning at me. He even caught me picking me nose. (Hey I couldn’t help it, there was something stuck in there. I had to get it out.) Now, I know it’s just a painting, but maybe his spirit was really watching me. ><
It was also bad, when hubby painted Buddha. Whenever I would get frisky with hubby, he would whisper, “Buddha is watching.” And there would be the Buddha painting, staring at me. Judging me. ><
We watched Don’t be Afraid of the Dark (the new horror movie with Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce). Hubby and I were both kind of excited because of Guillermo Del Toro. (You know Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy II plus some other movies) Anyway, his monsters and stuff are always so visually awesome.
** — Spoiler Alert — **
If you have about 2 hours of your life you would just love to waste then feel free to waste it watching this movie. First let’s talk about the characters. It was a typically (when a child is involved) horror movie. The clueless and unbelieving dad, who in this case seemed to only care about money, the abandoned and lonely child who likes to draw spirals, and the kind woman who knows something is wrong but no one listens to and ultimately sacrifices herself to protect others. Now, the monsters were tiny, not scary at all, and easily killable monsters. Did I mention they were tiny and not scary?
Okay, let’s talk about the beginning of the film.
The beginning, I will admit was kind of creepy. The toothless man with bloody gums and shirt, using a chisel and mallet to knock out the maid’s teeth, yeah it’s creepy. He is then pulled down into the abyss by many tiny hands. Interesting. But wait, teeth? He is giving them teeth? These are Tooth Fairies? Oh, are they going to be the cute little monsters from Hellboy II that attack and eat your flesh in a matter of minutes? How are normal humans going to fight them without Hellboy? Fear not, these tooth fairies are nothing like the Hellboy tooth fairies.
Then I also thought about the title Don’t be Afraid of the Dark and the tooth fairy. Wasn’t there another movie about a tooth fairy and darkness? Hmmm Darkness Falls perhaps? Let’s compare. Don’t be Afraid of the Dark: tooth fairies don’t like light. Darkness Falls: tooth fairy doesn’t like light. Why is it that the tooth fairy, or tooth fairies don’t like light? Why? Because she comes while you are sleeping? Doesn’t Santa Clause do the same thing? Does that mean Santa is also scared of light? (yeah Silly argument I know. Sorry)
Now, let’s look at some funny – well funny to me – things about the movie.
# 1, the dad is completely clueless and what’s more is instead of being a loving father and comforting his daughter, he just puts her on drugs. What’s this saying: your kids are scared sh—shirtless and instead of trying to explain there are no monsters or at least trying to understand their fears, you just have them put on Prozac or whatnot? What a great parenting solution. If you can’t solve your kids’ problems then drugs can! Remember this parents: Spanking Bad, Drugs Good! (I was totally angry about that throughout the movie. No child should be given psychiatric drugs. But Guy Pearce knows best right? )
# 2, the whole whispering from the vent and making the teddy bear move. Okay, I don’t know about you, but if I was that kid and there were creepy voices whispering to me from a vent, I would be absolutely terrified. In fact, if I heard something like that, I would so be like “Ah heck no!” and not stop running until I reached the next state. Well no, the next state is much too close. I wouldn’t stop running until I reached Europe.
But maybe that’s just me. Growing up with a brother who loved horror films, I was constantly plagued (still am) by an over active imagination. At night, I often screamed for my mom, because there was some horrible imaginary monster in my room.
I figured all kids were like this. I mean I was lonely too, but I was smart enough to not want to become friends with evil creatures whispering through my vent. But maybe I was the only kid afraid of things like that. Obviously the little girl in the movie was not. I guess in today’s world we have cute monsters like Pokémon. Perhaps that’s who she thought was whispering to her: a cute little fluffy monster who would just love to be captured into a tiny ball.
Me, I know better. There are no Pokémon monsters inside the walls of your house. Run little girl! Run!
# 3 the handy man. Now this old dude clearly knows more than he is letting on. And when the family finds the hidden door to the basement, I kept watching the old man who I thought was going to pull out a weapon at any minute and claim to be the protector of a cruse like the guy in black from The Mummy (You all know who I mean). I mean, he is obviously upset, but why the heck doesn’t he just come out and say “There are monsters trapped down here. Stay out!” But no, he stays silent and lets the family cause trouble. Of course, if he spoke out, the family would probably not go down there; hence, a very short movie. So the audience has to wait for the old man to speak out. And wait we do, until the man ends up in the hospital.
Down in the basement, the tooth fairies raid the man’s tool box – for lots of sharp goodies – as he is trying to close the grate that let them free. They then begin to attack him. A screw driver to the leg, some box cutter cuts here and there and my favorite some scissors to the back. Up the stairs, comes the man bleeding and stumbling with the scissors still stuck in his back. “I had an accident” is about all he can say before he collapses to the floor. That’s not the funny part. The funny part is that everyone believes him. What kind of accident is that? What, he just happened to fall on his tool box and all the sharp tools just happened to poke and stab him everywhere? Talk about stupid people!
# 4 isn’t a funny occurrence in the movie; it is merely something funny I would like to add. So Katie Holmes’ character is very kind and understanding. When the little girl begs her to stay with her while she sleeps, Katie promises to stay the whole night. What a big liar! She stays for a while, then gets up and goes to her own bed leaving the little girl alone with the tooth fairies. Okay, now I am not a mother, but I know one thing and that’s if my child is scared and I promise to stay, then I am going to stay the whole night. I’ll probably be the Major Payne parent (cause I am scared too) who shoots the closet full of bullets and proudly states “If there’s a monster in there, than he ain’t happy!”
# 5 In the entire film, only two of the many tooth fairies are killed. What’s worse, the child is the one who kills them. This doesn’t seem so bad except that the monsters are very easy to kill. They are very squishable, like bugs. Frying pan anyone? No? Seriously though a frying pan would have been a great weapon. Take my advice about the frying pan should there be a Don’t be Afraid of the Dark II. Okay a frying pan or bug spray! Heck just call the Orkin Man.
# 6 What are the monsters waiting for? They spend the whole movie trying to make friends with the girl, then harmlessly attacking her and all for the purpose of dragging her down into a well, a hole or abyss (whatever it is). There is even a part in the movie where she sticks her head into the grate and nothing! They totally had her and yet they didn’t do anything. Then at the end when they have her tied up and are pulling her toward the grate, Katie Holmes wraps the rope around her legs and begins cutting it to free the girl. And what are the monsters doing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just waiting for her to cut the rope and get away I guess. Wow what courteous monsters.
#7 (there are more but I am getting tired) The worst. The rope. Like I said Katie Holmes had the rope in front of one knee and behind the other to slow the monsters pull on it so that she would have time to cut it. Now that means that the rope was clearly not attached to Katie and once it was cut should just easily be pulled through her legs right? Wrong, as soon as she freed the child, the rope magically (I don’t know how) became attached around her legs because the monsters began to pull Katie toward the grate and into the hole. Yeah, Katie dies! Sorry for ruining the movie. But it just doesn’t make any sense. Did I miss something? Did the monsters somehow get the rope tied around her? Not likely, there was no time… then how? I don’t know.
If you watch Don’t be Afraid of the Dark then please let me know how the rope scene at the end is possible because I would just love to know. Ok Thanks!
Holy Baloney! I have been writing this post for hours. Time to post it and spend the rest of the night, knitting, or watching a movie while reveling in the rotten fish smell that is polluting our apartment. My mother-in-law cleaned out the freezer yesterday and accidentally left a fish and a container of shrimp on top of the fridge. It’s been there since last night. We didn’t find it until around 6 this evening.
whimsicalwitch 